People often ask what advice they would like to give their teenage self.  For me, what I would like to do is to go back in time, not to my teenage years, but to my early 30s. 

I would like to go into the waiting room at the fertility clinic. I would see me, a devastated woman crying into her husband’s arms, and I would give her a hug. I would take her by the hand and show her a picture.

I would take her to see my garden. She would see herself sitting on a deck chair with two boys, one blond, one darker, jumping on her knees shrieking with laughter. I would show her a house that is a mess of toy fire engines, dinosaurs, odd socks and muddy clothes and which is hardly ever quiet. 

I would show a calendar on the wall full of play dates, kid’s parties and dreaded dentist appointments. I would show her a couple who play run to catch up, who try to leave the house for work on time but are held up by dirty nappies, whose holidays now revolve around the beach, finding sunhats, losing sun lotion and moderating constant childish bickering.

I would show her the joy when her boys first hugged her tight and said that they loved her.  Her joy when they first said “mama.” I would show her a family.

I will never look at my boys and see Uncle Jo’s eyes or Auntie Susan’s chin. I did not carry them in my belly, nor did I nourish them with my milk. I know that adoption can bring real challenges and I don’t know what the future will hold. 

But what we do have is incredible pride at how these two little boys are overcoming their difficult beginnings, and every milestone met brings us so much happiness. They may not be of our blood, but they are 100% our sons. We are truly blessed.

If you are interested in finding out more on Adoption, please get in touch with the Adoption Team on 01234 718718 or email adoptionandfostering@bedford.gov.uk